Freaking early in the morning

Its so damn early and i'm here to blog again.

I just completed my editing of the LMS project. This filming thingy already quite a headache, and now, the editing of the videos are SCARY.

I hate myself for writing such a script and in the end, i got to edit what i want and i just really can't get the effect i want till now. But i just don't want to care anymore. As long as its presentable, then i guess my groupmates won't mind.

I swear i won't write such a script again. Its so damn ridiculous and atrociuos!

But, i enjoy te editing of NGs... It's so funny to see all the NGs and choose those that are funny. Though, there are some which are not funny and i added in cos i need to lengthen the timing.

So dead tired now but the movie is still converting its file and need about 1/2 hr more. I saved it to my computer 1st before burning to a disk and QC the quility on another computer. Just in case... which i hope won't happen. I better pray hard now.

I won't be sleeping already cos its 4.40am now! And after everything is clear, it would be around 5+am and i'm supposed to wake up at 6.15am.

I got to pack my things later and if i still got the time, i'll do my tutorials and after i came back from school today, i will just sleep till Thursday morning skipping dinner. A nice way of slimming down!

Oh gosh!

It's driving me mad.
I don't know what's going on with me. I'm so stress with... EVERYTHING... and annoyed by them too. There's a few things that kept haunting me.

1stly, i got to say that, my stupid test date for practical test for driving falls on 8th May 2006 and my Provisional Driving License expires on 6th May 2006! WTH. I got to renew it AGAIN! I oreadi renew it once and wasted $25 on it. Another renewal is another $25... Are they trying to con us money? It really makes me think cos the PDL valids for only 6 months! Freaking 6 months ok.

2ndly, the LMS movie is not finish YET! I vomit blood, k. My laptop lags like hell whenever i edit the movie. So many things to touch up on. I thought everyday do a bit, i'll be able to finish it on time. But i'm soooo WRONG! I still can't finish it at all. GRRRR... Why must the school assign us with such stupid idiotic projects to do? I hate projects. I just hate them.

3rdly, I want my adidas sling bag. I really yearn for it. I simply love it. I WANT IT!

4thly, I wanna go shopping. But, i just lack of $. I want to get clothings which i happened to saw when i passed by osmose on Monday. I love most of the clothes.

*Recently, i suddenly had this urge of going to Japan. But, when Dar ask me that time, i already told him don't go, save $... I know i'm contradicting myself. But what i said doesn't mean what my mind is thinking. Haiz... I am so loss. Tired from doing projects which are still on pending.

I don't know what title to give

Its another quarrel between us. Too many things happened for this week. Big sis have some problems and i need to console her. There are many projects to be done. My revision had not start yet and now, there's another problem between us.

I know he is stress. His work is way stressful and there's things happening in his office. Some office politics and he might not like it. But what i want to say is that, i do care for him. I might not know how to say things to him. I really don't know is it my fault or we are just too childish. This is driving me mad soon. I already tried to let go. We met up once a week. We talk through the phone about once every 2 to 3 days. And each time the conversation last for about 5 to 10 minutes. What else can i do? Shut my mouth and just listen? Well, i can do that if you don't want to listen. If that's the case, you will have to do that when i talk.

Find an ah beng as bf? To think that you can tell me to find an ah beng as bf. Seriously, i don't know how to console my sis cos i'm also crying and feel so hurt. Didn't really sleep on Tuesday night after the incident. Wednesday, i'm tired but i didn't sleep much. I went to bed at 3+am tis morning and i cried to bed. And i woke up at 7am. Now, i simply have no strength. No msg or call from him.

I don't know how long this relationship can last. I really don't know. All i pray was that he can at least sms me...

It sets me thinking...

I've read a posting by my friend regarding ice cube that made her think. And somehow, i find that its really true that no matter how hard we try to push problems or solve problems, there wil still be others to surface up at the top. Which the ice cubes floats and when u push one down, it either floats up again or other ice cubes floats up.

Now this makes me think that what she said is very true indeed. Something happened today and i was quite affected by it. I really don't know is it me who arouse this problem. I don't wanna push the blame to other people because i don't want to accuse anyone. As i haven't find out the truth yet. But all i know is that i'm the bad people.

I've always been the bad people. Always me who ask another party and the other party not happy, its me again!

There's another thing which makes me think too. Human nature is to push blames to other people. That's very normal and common. Thus, i'm not surprised when people wanna say its not their fault for all this shit.

STRESS again... My sisters told me not to brood over it. But all i want are friends and not people who think i'm a baddie and tries to avoid me.

GRRRRR.... driving me mad now... I've never dislike that person even though put me aeroplane... Biang eh... Buai Tahan...

I wanna scream...

Its freaking 2.35am on a Monday morning! Which means, i didnt sleep at all last night.

I'm just freaking tired but i got so many things left undone! I just hate it when i have to do so many projects and tutorials. I hate to have so many projects due on the same week. Its really damn freaking idiotic. Soon, i'll get mad and i might be admitted to the Mental of Health.

Ok. I just wanna vent my anger again.

Friday is a tired day for me. I didn't sleep on Thursday and thus, i went to school like a vampire on Friday. After class, I tried calling Dar but he never pick up the phone. I called him a few times and sms him, but he didn't reply. So, i called his mom. Yeah, i called HIS mom. She also wanted to call him, therefore she helped me to forward my msg to Dar if he answered her call. But, he didn't. So, his mom asked me to go Toa Payoh to their Snooker Zone first.

I was already on my way when my phone rang.

Dar, "You called me ah?"
Me, "Ya loh."
Dar, "Y leh?"
Me, "I on my way to Toa Payoh now."

So, during my journey down to Toa Payoh, Dar called me twice again asking me where am i.
Well, of coz i'm still on the way. Anywayz, he didn't answer the call because he was in a meeting. Just wanna clarify it before i kana accused of accusing him and its unfair to him.

After i reached Toa Payoh, Dar drove his dad, his nephew and me back to his house which is near NP. GRRRRRR!!! i was kind of unhappy actually. Can u imagine wasting time travelling down to Toa Payoh from Bukit Timah, den kana send back to Bukit Timah? Might as well i stay at Bukit Timah area and wait for him right?

I didn't sleep, so my temper should be damn idiotic bad right? But i tolerate. Cos its not his fault. I tried not to quarrel. My kor kor, Kelvin, told me to give in. He say my temper is bad. Dar said that too. So i guessed my temper is real bad. So i wanna change. I 'ren'.

He suggested we watch movie. After that he say sing karaoke. But cannot find kaki to go singing. So in the end, we went to watch movie, . Kind of boring actually, because is kind of narration. Seriously, i nearly fell asleep at first cos i'm tired.

On Saturday, i woke up around 12pm. I'm exhuasted from everything. I don't have energy to do much thing. I went out around 1pm to Bishan. Got to go for my driving lesson. Kana repriminded by my instructor again and again. He alwayz scolded me for one thing. I'm someone who likes to speed and wan to do everything fast. He say i like to compete with people. Sure fail if i take my test lidat. But can't be blame ma. There's so many car behind me. Of cos i wanna speed up or else kana horn.

I don't like to have cars behind me. I'm stress by all the cars and usually there's sooo many cars. I doubt i will pass my driving. Somemore driving around Ubi area which i'm not familiar with. OMG!! But the routes are shorter than Bukit Batok.

After my driving lesson, i came back home to take a bath. Its damn hot and stuffy for the day. Sweat like hell. Then, i set off to my cousin's house for our usual mahjong session. We started with out dinner which includes, Cha Soba, Soon Kueh... What a spread for the night. And started the mahjong session around 8pm lidat.

We played for 1 round which ended around 1.30am... Its damn long for only 1 round. After that, we started eating and chatting again. When i reached home, its around 3am lidat la... Don't really remember the actual time. And tokin about today's mahjong session, i quarrelled with him again. GRRRR... So many misunderstanding. He just hang my phone and i simply dislike it. Cos, he dun wan me to hang his phone, so he SHOULDN'T hang up my phone too. Agree?

I just ask 1 qns... mind u... its only 1 QNS only and there goes his temper and my temper started to flare up. Don't tell me its MY FAULT AGAIN??? I'm still kind of upset over it. But i still tok to him nicely on the phone. He didn't apologise anyway. He will say its not his fault. Well, there's times when i'm not at fault or i'm not sure is i'm at fault and i apologise. I don't want to be the one apologise again cos i had enough of tolerance. I know U will be reading this. U may get angry if u wan to. I've tried to stop myself from writing my postings that includes u... but now, u made me wan to do it again.

I really hope u tink about what had happened and why must u use that attitude that day. It simply hurt me when u say that. I dunno how to tink or u dunno how to tink?

Updates!!

Its time for me to update my blog! Its been such a long time ever since i last blog. SO sorry to those that reads my blog. School reopens and there's so many projects to do and all the deadlines are on WEEK 4! Hate projects because there's gonna be a lot of research to do. And on top of that, i got to sacrifice a lot of things. For example, my sleep, which is my must-do kind of hobby.

Now its so late, i still comes in to blog. I guess i really gonna be a big panda tomorrow. I still need to do my tutorials later and hope to edit the script for my LMS. 4 projects to be done by WEEK 4! Why is the school doing this to us? Aren't they cruel to give us 4 PROJECTS? And the deadline is by WEEK 4, as presentation is on WEEK 5. Well, maybe they don't know how to count at all.

Enough of my unhappiness. I shall continue from last post. I kind of forgotten what I've really done. But i remember on 30th October 2005, my sister and I were tidying up our shoes corner. Because we bought 2 pair of new shoes from Charles & Keith. I simply love to buy shoes. And of cos, i bought a bag from there at the same time.

And guess what happened when we were packing and cleaning the shoes? We've found that we have a lot of shoes! Well, this pic is not all the shoes we have.

Please ignore that pair of unwanted feet which belongs to my sista. She's sitting on this little stool taking out all the shoes from the shoe rack. Aniwayz, my house still got 1 shoe cabinet and those shoes are those that we seldom wears.

It realli surprised me when we were packing our shoes. I didn't know we have so many pair of shoes and we keep on buying like we have no shoes. Got to be thrifty already. So i can't buy anymore shoes. Well, this 2 pair of shoes r our newly-bought shoes.

I like the pink one a lot. Cos its so sweet, Isn't it?

After packing the shoes, its already late evening. I'm so tired and the next day will be my 1st day back in school. Didn't have enough sleep. Because my cousin spent the night over and his parents came to pick him up on Monday. Because, my auntie's sister is in hospital. So my cousin is being put up at my place for a night. Well, he simply love to come over because he can play play station and computer games.

No school on Tuesday 1st November because its Deepavali.

I took my Final Theory Test on Wednesday, 2nd November. Well, its also being called Advanced Theory. Which my kuku 2nd sister don't know what's FTT... It's my 2nd attempt for FTT. I passed BTT (Basic Theory Test) with only 1 attempt. So i don't know why i so lousy as to fail my FTT for the 1st time. But its good i failed then. Because, i got to use the new system instead of the olden days that have to shade the OTS or OAS, then go home wait for results.
Now, even those instructions on 'if u were to turn left......blah blah blah", there's an animation on the right top corner to see. And you can get your results straight away! Its that fast now. Its my 2nd attempt and of cos, i passed. If i fail, then i got to knock my head against the wall already. Cos its actually chicken-feet, which i still don't understand why i failed the last time. (Think i passed liao den i say easy)

After the test, i went back home to bathe. After which, i went to meet up with my dearest ex-colleagues from MegaChem. Love them to bits and pieces. We went to K-Box @ Jurong East. We need to go to somewhere that is convenient for all of us as they need to work and dun intend to travel long distance. Nice night with them.

After the K-Box, Christine supposed to meet-up with me to Zouk. But i guess she's busy so in the end, we didn't go. And so, i stayed on with my ex-colleagues to sing. Around 1 plus am, we were tired and there's only me, Xinpei, Leonard & his wife left. So we paid the bill and went for supper. We went to Boon Lay Market Place, but as next day is Hari Raya, the nice Nasi Lemak is not open. It didn't come to our mind until we reached there. In the end, we went to Jurong West Ave 1 there for supper. I used to stay there. Its such a nice place. I discover it until i moved to this idiotic place which is inconvenient.

Not much things happen after that night. I'm cooped up at home doing my work.

But on Wednesday, 9th November, i went for my driving lesson once again. My last driving lesson was in April. It's been 7 months ever since i last drives. My instructor is still the same ah pek which is rather strict with me. When he scold me, i will tremble one ok. Because, i always makes the same old mistake. I tend to forget to hold 1/2 clutch. GR... Got to change that mistake. I drove from Yio Chu Kang to Bukit Gombak by going through Lornie Road then Bukit Timah Road during peak hours. The car engine stalled once when on the main road and luckily, i moved off quite fast. Or else, the cars behind will start to horn. Though i have the same mistake, but my instructor says that i'm quite good and ready for the TP test! OMG!!! This is only the 4th lesson for goodness sake. And now u want me go court death?

He is going to book my test date this Saturday when i have lesson again. I hope the date not too near. I get so scared. Getting cold feet already. Haiz... Guess that i'm not talented to drive at all. I panicked whenever the engine stalled. Haiz... I hope i can overcome this fear.

Its 2am right now. So i guess, i got to do my work and catch a nap later.