Work...

I don't have to work OT for today. That's something to be glad of. I've been working OTs everyday. I almost need to go back on Sunday to work. Luckily, I don't need to because I rejected the idea of going back.

My last day of work will be on 18 April and I'll be going on a cruise on 19 April. Its a 3 days 2 nights cruise and will be going to Redang. I'll be taking SuperStar Virgo. Though my roon is not superb like suites, but I'm happy to have a window and it'll be located on the 6 or 7 floor.

I've been working like crazy and I think I deserve to get some rest before the semester starts.

I'm just a lucky girl because I only need to pay $200 for the cruise. The rest will be sponsored and I'm so happy to be sponsored.

I'll update more in future. That's all, folks.

Busy holiday...

I got to wake up for work later... But I feel like blogging.

Work till 9pm today or rather yesterday. For the entire week, I've been doing OT everyday except Tuesday. All the accounts are still in a mess. But compared to the past, its much much much more better now. I'm so proud of myself for handling this.

I don't have enough sleep everyday and here I am typing away on my keyboard.

I'm so stress with work and now, over relationship again. I thought that I've been busy and won't have the time for nonsense again. But, I'm so damn wrong. He raised his voice at me today!

I didn't want to bear that in mind at first. I mean, I don't intend to bring this up. He told me to go home first after that and I did. I waited and waited for him to call or at least message me. Till 12.30am, there's no message from him yet. I called him and there he was sleeping away.

For goodness sake, if you ask someone to go back first, it means that you will contact that person again, right?

I really don't know what to say. I'm disappointed in myself, in everything. I know I'm a pig, with such bad-looking, there's no one wooing me and you will not feel insecure. But I'm a human afterall. I wonder how long can I wait.

I'm tired... really tired. I need some sleep right now.

Working life...

Firstly, I got to say sorry to my friends. Its been such a long time ever since I last wrote and if I still don't publish something, my blog would be forgotten and I'll be forgotten too... Oh my, what the hell am I talking right here?

Secondly, I got to say a big THANK YOU to all those who showered me with care and concern over the previous post. I'm okay right now and we had sort things out.

I'm rather busy with work nowadays and its kind of no life for me. My normal hours of working are from Monday to Friday, 8.30am to 5.30pm. But, I got to work OT and on Saturday, I had to come back to work. Which means, I'm left with Sunday. However, Sundays are booked by my tuition kids. Therefore, I got no time to spare. I think I can only meet up on Saturday for dinner or else, please come to Bugis area and I'll meet you for lunch.

Right now, I'm typing away on the keyboard in the office. Just had a full lunch and I'm sitting down. I'm sure to grow fat this holiday. My colleagues love to eat too. So, there'll be surplus of food everyday. We had strudel just before lunch and my manager said that its only appertiser.

Love working with a group of fun-loving colleagues, though they are all uncles and aunties to me. But the long journey to work and the heavy workload, stress me out. I shall request to stay in the office. Then, I'll have no problem waking up early in the morning and I can finish what I want to do.

I'm okay, really okay. I think I'm really a workaholic now and I can't stop working. I shall start with my work now. If not, the creditors will soon call and ask for payments.

This lifestyle is good because I don't let my mind wonder off....

A different me...

I met up with Joanna and Joyce on Thursday at Westmall coffee bean. We were all lazy to travel too far and Joyce worked till 3pm that day. Therefore, we decided to settle down at some nearby place.

The three of us were so bo liao. We actually met up to read 8-days and i-weekly! Of coz, we did comment on those whatever artists or whatever. Most of our convo were on the star idol and also on all the votings of everything.

Around 6.30pm, they went home and I met up my Dar for dinner. Dar wanted to catch a movie and I didn't want to because the show starts at 7.30pm and ends at 9 plus. I need to help out at my sis bf's stall the next morning and would be too tired.

For goodness, Dar said that I only thought for myself. He said that last time he say tired and I would complain all that. This was what I learnt from him anyway and hello... I had to help from 6am till 4pm! Its not as easy as office work lah! I was quite unhappy with him saying that.

While having dinner, he told me that he would be meeting him his friends on Friday night and Saturday night, he would be playing mahjong with his friends because 1 of them came back to Singapore and would be returning on Tuesday.

So, I was like commenting "Huh? Like that you won't be meeting me la."

This was what he replied "You everytime only think of meeting up."

I'm real pissed by this sentence.You mean you don't wish to see me? You mean that I'm not important? You mean you find me a bother? Whatever...

I didn't want to quarrel about it and I kept quiet. Inside me, I was so damn unhappy and I wanted to cry. But I'm in the public, so what can I do? I tried to put on a brave front. I don't want to let him see my unhappiness.

For goodness, if I didn't ask to meet him on Thursday, then I won't be meeting him for the whole week and he don't even care.

I didn't sleep for the whole night my alarm clock rang. Its 5am. I know I'm tired already but I got to help out at my sis bf's stall as promised.

I forced myself to work and I kept myself busy. When there's not many customers, I washed anything I can find and even clean a lot of places. I wanted to tire myself out so that I won't think too much. However, I just can't stop thinking about his cruelty. It made me wonder if I plunged myself too deep into this relationship.

I didn't eat anything at all for the whole day. This is such a big record for me! I didn't feel hungry at all which I think its rather strange. I'm such a glutton and I did survive without food for the whole day without thinking of eating anything.

Finally, he called me at 10pm lidat. He asked me for supper at Upper Bukit Timah area. I wanted so much to see him but I told him that I don't want to go out because the weather was damn warm. I asked him to pack the food to my house rather than sitting at the so-hot-place eating.

This was actually an excuse. I was hoping that he would say okay and buy the food. But all these did not happen! He said that go there eat, the food nicer and all those shit!

Of course, I was hurt again.

Today, I woke up feeling damn tired. My whole body ache due to the long hours of helping out and cleaning at the stall. Somemore, I didn't sleep the previous night, thus it was like combo tireness.

I dragged myself to give tuition and was almost dead. My tuition kid just gave me too much trouble. I really want to give up on this boy. His sister is hardworking and clever. But the brother was just too much to bear. Nevermind about them. I don't wish to talk about them or I'll get angry and die earlier.

After tuition, I called him. I told him I'm on my way home and he asked me to go over his house and we can go out for dinner tonight. I refused telling him that after dinner, I got to go back home myself because he would be going to his friend's house for mahjong.

All these happen for a reason. I just love him too much that he is taking advantage. He didn't put in the effort of maintaining a good relationship. All these while, I'm the one wanting a nice relation and I'm the one putting effort. For him, he can survive without meeting me. I want to prove that I can do it too.

I'm wondering if I should let go. Its hard to me to cry to sleep every night and having the dark rings. My whole family know that something is wrong with me. From a chatty and cheerful girl, I've turned into a ghost.

I suddenly didn't want to talk to anyone much. I didn't have the appetite. Of course they know what's going on because every weekend, I would not be home. I would be with him. This week, I'm totally a different me. I don't know how long this will last. Maybe till the end of my breath...

Interview...

The previous post is missing and I can't recover the post!

Just a summarize...

Went for interview this afternoon and there's no reply from the company. I know I won't get the job because they said that they will call me tonight if I'm short-listed.

No work means no money which means no money to pay school fees. Any sponsors?

If you want to be generous, please click on the envelope which is at the end of the post. By clicking it, you would be sending an email to me and you may state that you want to donate money to me. I'll be glad to provide you with my account number.

Enough said. I'm tired from the long day... Work at sis' bf stall from 12pm till 2pm and went to his cousin's place to bathe. After that. I went to Raffles Place for the interview. I'm not selected and I'm just so angry. Wasted my transport fee!

Depression...

Today, I went to an agency at Shaw House Office Building. I seriously need to find a job or I can forget about schooling. From the little money I got from giving tuition is not enough for me to pay for the one thousand over school fees.

Its so ridiculous for school fees to be so damn expensive. Our transport fee also expensive. What is this? Freaking irritating whenever I think of it.

I got another call from another agency telling me that I have an interview with a company tomorrow at 4.30pm. Why can't they just make it earlier? Such a stupid timing and when the interview is over, it would clash with the after-office hour and the train would be pack.

Seriously, I don't know what is going on with me nowadays. Things just don't seem to be on the right tracks. People around me changed and the way they change just shock me.

How can someone change to another person and yet claiming that they have not changed? Maybe yes, because they don't know they've changed. It just disappoint me when I got friends showing an attitude that they don't care. It simply saddened me.

Where is the past? Human nature is just so difficult to understand. When they like it, they find you. I remembered that I got a friend and she was such a close friend to me. But things started changing. She became like a stranger to me. I don't understand and sometimes wonder if I am just a passer-by to her. Busy was all she said and now, maybe through her influence, I started saying that I'm busy too.

Its not that I'm really busy sometimes. Its just that I feel rather strange if we were to be out again. We met, sit down and talk about nothing. Isn't that strange? She started giving me attitude in the past and I didn't want to say that I'm displeased because I don't want anything to strain our friendship. But now, I started to feel silly for being so.

What more can I ask for? Are friends just passer-bys in life? Or are they friends for life?

What then is a true friend? The other me in myself? Is that my only true friend?

I don't know why I'm feeling so sensitive and emotional nowadays. All thanks to my belated-birthday depression. So clever of me to think of such name.

My long week posting...

Its been such a long time ever since i last blog. This is due to my laziness and I kept my laptop in the cupboard to stop myself from surfing the internet. In this way, I can then concentrate on my last paper.

Celebrated my birthday with my Dar and his family. Its so nice of him to get me a chocolate cake. I simply fall in love with chocolate and I always have the craving for it during exam period. Maybe its due to stress? Well, I don't know if it really is because of that. The cake was cut at his house with his parents around. I didn't bring back the cake because my dear blood-related sister, Ann, would be getting a cake for me.

I didn't know that she also got me a chocolate cake too. I was taken aback when I saw the huge chocolate. Its the chocolate cake from Secret Recipe. Its nice nice nice! The outer chocolate covering just taste fabulous. For your info, I only like the outer layer of chocolate. I don't like the banana in the cake.

On Wednesday, Joanna and Joyce came my house. They got me a perfume from Zara and it smell nice. I really like the bottle because it is unique to me. Thanks gurls... They also tapao Carl's JR burger from Marina Square. So nice of them to ask me if I want any of the burger. The food was delivered to me and we studied FFA together. Cleared quite a lot of doubts. Those that I don't know in the past was finally cleared. Both of them left at 7pm lidat. If I don't remember wrongly.

On Thursday, I received presents from Diana, Patricia, Amalia, Izyan and Fenella. They got me a belt, necklace and a pair of earrings. Thanks girls. So nice of you all to remember my birthday.

Joanna, Joyce and I went Suntec for lunch on Friday. We had such a nice steamboat buffet. Joanna really can eat and she just don't feel full. What the hell! Eat so much, yet so skinny. How unfair? After that, we were supposed to shop around, but in the end, we ended up at Ben & Jerry ice-cream shop eating ice-cream. For goodness, we only walked around for 1 hour or so and there we were eating ice-cream. We were supposed to watch a movie, but due to the timing of the shows, we decided not to watch.

After the ice-cream, we walked to Marina Square and from there, we went to Esplanade. We walked around and wanted to take photos. But the sun was just too bright. Therefore, we postponed the photo-whoring session.

We went to Chocz for chocolate. We ordered a Nectar drink each. Joyce and Joanna chose milk chocolate and I got myself the dark chocolate. I love dark chocolate because milk chocolate is just too sweet. We spent a long time drinking the nice choco drink.

Finally, we decided to leave and Joyce wanted to take the photos. Thus, we just can't run away from the photo-whoring session. We were like 3 siao cha bos taking photos in front of so many people. I was the first to take a stupid pose and everyone was like looking at me. I raised my hand so that the merlion looks like its on my hand. Its just a trick la. But Joanna just kept telling me to put my hand up a bit, left a bit, down a bit. Look like a clown then. But the results... NICE!

We took bus home and I met Dar at his house there for dinner. I don't know why I can eat so much that day. I had dinner too after so many food are gorged down. And I just weigh myself, I've gained 2KGS!!! Its been such a long time ever since I last weigh and here, it shows me 52.3Kg. Wow... Where is my 50.3Kg?? I tried so hard to shed off and now its coming back to me.

Today, I am shagged. Went out with my sis' bf early in the morning because he need to start his business. He sells minced meat noodles and it at 1 of the coffee shops at Bukit Batok area. His staff went for reservice and I helped him out. I woke up at 5am and went out with him and started the day. Around 12.30pm lidat, I left because his cousins came down already and I can finally leave. Such a busy day. Its good because there's business. But it just stress me out with so many orders and some people just don't want this and that.

Hopefully, tomorrow I'm not needed. I will cry if this last for a week. I can't tolerate waking up at a freaking 5am and sleeping at 2am. I just can't get myself to sleep before 2am, maybe I've turned into a nocturnal animal. I just toss and turn on my bed.