Why am I FAT?

Firstly, I really don't understand how come I can put on so much weight. I used to have lighter weight of only 46kg with my current height. But the number begin to soar to greater height when I'm... I don't know when it starts to soar anywayz, I just know it did soar up. If not, I won't be what I am now.

I'm so disappointed in myself. Why can't I just have more determination and stop eating all those nonsense tidbits? I just weigh myself and I'm 50.4kg... (digital weighing machine just weigh everything out!). If I were to use normal weighing scale machine, it'll read only 50kg.

I did slim down a little, but not to my expected 45kg! Somemore, its not my tummy that shrink. Its my breast, for goodness sake (my mom told me about this 'observation', pervert!)! I didn't take any slimming products. I just ate normal, rather. I don't know why is it my B R E A S T that Shrink. I hate the idea of my weight going down and seeing my breast gets smaller.

I don't want to get fat anymore. I want to bid goodbye to my dear 50++kg... I only welcome 40++... I like smaller number. But I don't like smaller breast.

I've been trying to eat healthily but it seems that its always ruined by my family. My sister just wants to eat fabulous food. They can't survive with 1 or 2 dishes. Choosy.

I'll monitor my weight everyday, hopefully if I remember. I want to have more confident in myself.