Depression...

Today, I went to an agency at Shaw House Office Building. I seriously need to find a job or I can forget about schooling. From the little money I got from giving tuition is not enough for me to pay for the one thousand over school fees.

Its so ridiculous for school fees to be so damn expensive. Our transport fee also expensive. What is this? Freaking irritating whenever I think of it.

I got another call from another agency telling me that I have an interview with a company tomorrow at 4.30pm. Why can't they just make it earlier? Such a stupid timing and when the interview is over, it would clash with the after-office hour and the train would be pack.

Seriously, I don't know what is going on with me nowadays. Things just don't seem to be on the right tracks. People around me changed and the way they change just shock me.

How can someone change to another person and yet claiming that they have not changed? Maybe yes, because they don't know they've changed. It just disappoint me when I got friends showing an attitude that they don't care. It simply saddened me.

Where is the past? Human nature is just so difficult to understand. When they like it, they find you. I remembered that I got a friend and she was such a close friend to me. But things started changing. She became like a stranger to me. I don't understand and sometimes wonder if I am just a passer-by to her. Busy was all she said and now, maybe through her influence, I started saying that I'm busy too.

Its not that I'm really busy sometimes. Its just that I feel rather strange if we were to be out again. We met, sit down and talk about nothing. Isn't that strange? She started giving me attitude in the past and I didn't want to say that I'm displeased because I don't want anything to strain our friendship. But now, I started to feel silly for being so.

What more can I ask for? Are friends just passer-bys in life? Or are they friends for life?

What then is a true friend? The other me in myself? Is that my only true friend?

I don't know why I'm feeling so sensitive and emotional nowadays. All thanks to my belated-birthday depression. So clever of me to think of such name.