My eldest sister got a camera and ipod touch! I want to 'kop' her things over to use...
But this is not the point of my post for the day. I was clearing my things just now and come across my little diary that I started in year 1999 all the way till 2004 whereby I started using blog. It is so funny reading the little things I wrote in 1999. I was primary 6 then when I started my diary. But it is already filled with admiration, love etc. All this seems possible to happen in secondary school days but I started dating at the age of 12!
But it was after my PSLE (i think) that I started dating because the date is in end of October which should be after PSLE. I don't even remember who on earth is the guy named, De Rong. Who on earth is this guy and how he looks like? I can only remember him as someone not tall because that's the reason of our breakup. I cannot accept guys that are slightly taller than me. That's it. I can't remember other things other than this. I don't even regard that as my first love because I remember that I didn't even hold his hand when we go out.
I started my first love when I was in secondary 1. That was the time I held a guy's hand but it was not a romantic love. Now I find that I'm really a foolish girl because I cut myself after the breakup. I really want to tell those young people out there. It is really NOT WORTH to commit suicide or whatever pathetic things if your relationship didn't work out because the guy/girl will not love you even though they goes back to you. It is only out of sympathy.
During my secondary school days, my relationship didn't work out well for me. I fall in love very easily as long as I find that it is romantic or I go 'wow! so sweet!'. Of coz, good days do not last. I start to feel annoyed when guys keep track of where I go. There are quite a few that always want me to report to me BEFORE I go anywhere and I can't stand it and break off after together for maybe a few days? There are also a handful of them who are not faithful type. Either there's a third party or I'm the third party but I didn't know till the 'actual' girlfriend called me.
My friends say that my life is full of excitement because theirs are dull. I don't think this is good either because I'm always sad.
Furthermore, because of the bad experience I had previously, I tend to feel insecure in the next relationship. When I was with my Dar, I tend to be possesive. I will call him 2 to 3 times a day and maybe 10 sms per day. Slowly, I started to call lesser and lesser sms too because I know he is irritated and maybe as time pass slowly, I am tired of 'tracking' his activities too.
After that, I guess there's a post in my 1st or 2nd post that said about a lady. That was because I feel insecure and afraid that someone will 'invade' and kick me out. After that, sms from ex-gf made me afraid that my Dar will go back to his ex because I got ex doing that. The worst was when the girl my Dar wooed before started to sms him and I called the girl behind my Dar's back. I think I did that because last time the 'actual' gf of my ex called me and boot me out. That's why I did that. But surprisingly, this lady started to say that they are only friends and started telling me about their past. How my Dar's dressing and where they went to etc. After that, she asked me if we can be friends so of coz I agreed and little did I know that this fox spirit turned her back against me and sms my Dar that she got feelings for him!
Dar knew that we were friends and started to ask me what is going on and showed me the sms. I was too naive to believe the scheming fox. She is such a B*T*H. That very night, I sms her to tell her that I know what she had sms to my Dar and she will get her retribution in future. She replied saying she is only letting my Dar to know about her feelings and she do not have the intention of snatching him away from me. What a good excuse she got. She thinks that I'm young and ignorant? I'm not a fool. My Dar is such an honest chap, I must say.
Though my life is full of excitement, I will settle down one day with the one I love. I really thank my dear darling for being so tolerant all these years. From the first day we were together till now, you started off being such a poor chap (not $ coz u r still poor nw. i refer to my temper.) to a not that pathetic guy because I treat you rather well now, isn't it? At least I don't throw my temper easily compare to the past and I don't 'track' you now. I give you freedom just like the freedom you give me. Dar's colleagues envy me because of the freedom he gave me. Allowing me to go clubbing, go out with friends etc.
Seems like people like to envy other people. Just like, how I envy other people too...
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