Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Another 5 mins more!

Another 5 more mins will be Dar's b/d le... waitin for the time to cum so tt i can sms him... Oh my... miss him so much... he'll be ah pek after tis b/d... 26 yrs old oreadi... no kid animore ok... time for marriage... OPPS... did i juz say marriage? tink i've gone crazy...

Not the time for marriage rite now... we dun haf stable income! If we r damn filthy rich, den sure get married rite now... even though i haven complete my studies... but of cos we r not capable so we can onli strive hard now...

Juz sent the b/d msg over... haha...cos rite now is 12am le! Hope he will c the msg n maybe cal me? Tink i shall not imagine so wonderful things... or else i'll be in tears when i go to slp...

Was actually quite upset today... tomolo is Dar's b/d... i was tinkin of mitin him today... cos tomolo i'll be at hme studyin the whole day... so after givin tuition, i called him.

But he dint wanna mit. So fine, i wanted to get him the golf spikes... is kind of spikes which is fixed onto the bottom of the golf shoes... kind of grip thingy... but he say i dunno hw to get... oh ya... its true tt i dunno hw to buy... cos there r mani types. But u didnt wanna cum out...

So in the end i decided to go hme... n while waitin for train, he sms me... tellin me his shoe type n ask me to tell the person n ask if can exchange if not compatible...

Well... i'm oreadi damn pissed off... cos before tt he say after my exams den go out n buy... i was tinkin... 'U mean after my exams over than u will mit me issit?'

Stupid exams... i juz hate it to the core... its u tt made me sad n stress n quarrel wif him...

Till now i'm still tearin... cos its been mani dayz since i last saw him... like tis hw to study? u tell me? i was stonin while sitted at my study table... nothing gets into my head now... therefore i decided to blog... to vent all my anger...

I remember quarrelin wif him tis evening over the fone... he 9++pm say he tired... ok lo... fine... i onli noe i'm upset over 1 thingy... he is mitin his secondary sch frenz tomolo for lunch at Suntec... Since i will be hme studyin for the whole tomolo... y cant u mit me for today? I feel like killin myself... feel like jumpin down the blk... feel like endin everything... even my dreams r all abt exams... and here u r tellin me to study n study again? its not as if i nv study... y cant u juz gif me a day break?

If u nv c me bloggin in future, it means i might be dead...

I've not been eatin beri well nowadays... losin appetite... but when i feel like it, i'll start gorging myself wif food again... what on earth is happenin to me? no one cares... NO ONE! i hope he can at least cum n accompany me... to c hw i'm doin... i feel so unloved... i'm juz a nobody... i nid to calm down for mani dayz...

I dunno if i still nid to pass him the birthday card anot... or shall i juz tear it n throw it into the rubbish bin... it doesn't matter animore since he wont be mitin me tis few dayz... next week den mit me... his b/d over le... it wont be the same animore...

If tomolo i realli nv c him, i might consider tearin it away... m i being impulsive or issit b'coz the lack of love tt made me like tis? Y m i like a tap? tearin n tearin away... i'm relyin on him too much... i juz cant live without him... is tis 2-sided love or issit a 1-sided love? i realli dunno...

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